Quite a (un)usual Fairytale
by Vijju123
Summary: SUMMARY- The three princesses of Mirrowmisa kingdom are kidnapped by an evil witch. But nothing to worry, three princes come to save the day!


**TITLE-** Quite a (un)usual fairytale.

 **SUMMARY-** The three princesses of Mirrowmisa kingdom are kidnapped by an evil witch. But nothing to worry, three princes come to save the day!

 **GENRE-** WTF did I just read?! Also, some humour and romance.

 **RATINGS- T++++**

 **PAIRINGS-** implied Takumi/Misaki, Tora/Chiyo, Hinata/Suzuna, and many OC pairing implications.

 **PRE-REQUISITES –** **IMPORTANT!**

The following oneshot(s) **MUST** be read before reading this one to fully enjoy it-

 **1\. POLITICALLY CORRECT MAID SAMA MAGICAL ONESHOT.**

 **AUTHOR NOTES-** Please note following-

I **OWN** all my OCs here.

1\. Any resemblance to any person, place, animal, thing, author, story is " **PURELY"** a work of CO-INCIDENCE.

2\. Don't take offence while reading it in ANY way! :-P

3\. The characters used, especially OC, **MAY/MAY NOT** be true to their characters. (You will get it while you read it :D)

 **IMPORTANT WORDS/TERMS-**

1\. Pedophile – Some adult who is prefers to make kids his sexual partner. (21 year old in relationship with 14 year etc.)

* * *

Takumi, Tora and Hinata entered the royal hall as sounds of trumpets blew in the air and mixed with noisy whispering-

" _Are they the saviours of the kingdom?"_

" _Will the bring back our princesses?"_

" _CALL THE QUEEN! CALL THE QUEEN!"_

The guards royally led them to the throne-room, and went back, bowing.

"I heard that the princesses of Mirrowmisa kingdom are _legendarily beautiful_." Hinata said as he read his holy book of legends. Tora smirked as he heard that while Takumi just shook his head with a bored expression.

"Why is this room empty?" He remarked. "Where is the queen?"

Just as he said that, the door to the other side of the room opened, and there entered a 15-year-old figure with _shoulder-length, straight, black_ hair wearing shirt and _jeans_ and carrying a cat in its arms.

"Sup dude!" Takumi called him, "Do you know where are the que-"

" **I** AM THE **QUEEN**." He/She remarked," I am _queen Takumisa,_ the _first_ queen of Mirrowmisa kingdom." She growled.

Now, our princes were not _as_ _much politically educated as us_ , so they were expecting a female figure in royal gown with jewellery laden from her head to toe. Tora, especially, was _very sexist_ as he remarked-

"There is still hope for you boy…" he remarked, "Come with me for a day and I will show you _that_ side of female species that you'd leave this _cross-dressing habi- "_

His speech was interrupted as the cat jumped from Takumisa's arms and scratched his face.

"Hmph!" She retorted, eying the _sexy figures_ from corner of her ( _perverted_ ) eye, "MY cat is the _example how boys should be_ ," She boasted, " _He is neither lookist, nor sexist nor a judgist!"_

Meanwhile, Takumi and Hinata were quite _uncomfortable_ at the age of _queen_ having _three daughters._ They were brooding over their _sexist and old-fashioned thoughts,_ as the door opened again, revealing a 15-year-old girl in _mini skirt_ and _half-top_ who was _savouring a bottle of milk_ as she entered.

"Queen Mikanlove!" Takumisa lit up, "Good Morning!"

To this, the young _queen_ , smiled, and then raised eyebrows on seeing the princes.

"I am queen _mikanlove_ ," She said in a high-pitched voice, carefully eying the three princes ( _especially the blonde one)_ with her _'expert'_ eye," And I am the _second queen of Mirrowmisa._ "

The princes were just wondering why she was not _feeling cold in this weather_ as the door opened again, revealing _another 15-year old girl_ , wearing a _pink blouse, pink skirt and a thin,_ _ **transparent**_ _pink veil_. She was also wearing small crown and _gold bangles_ on her wrists…and _was carrying a rock star guitar._

" _QUEEN ARROWBEE!"_ Mikanlove dashed towards her and bear hugged her, "You back from your rock concert?"

Okay, by now our princes had had enough. _There were three_ _ **teenagers**_ _claiming themselves as queens_ _ **whose**_ _ **adult**_ _ **daughters**_ _were taken away by a witch._ And _not to mention_ _ **,**_ how _uncomfortable_ they were in _explicitly imagining a middle-aged king_ _ **producing**_ _kids with them…_

"We're in the right kingdom. Right Hinata?" Takumi asked him.

"I am also checking again." Hinata remarked as he read his _holy book of legends_ , " _In the kingdom of Mirrowmisa there-_ "

"Ya-Ya, "Queen Arrowbee said as she waved her hands, "You're at the right place. Our daughters are kidnapped."

The male trio looked at them with poker faces, and sighed as they began to leave.

"HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Queen Takumisa shouted and her cat immediately blocked the exit.

"Meeeoooowww" The kitten snarled.

"Sorry kids, no time for games," Tora scoffed at that. He was about to lift the kitten…

…when it opened its mouth and breathed a flame of _pure blue fire_ on his face.

"MY FACE! MY FACE!" Tora shouted as he felt the burning sensation, but luckily, Prince Hinata was a monk specialising in healing magic…

 _Unluckily, he was a perfect example of a noob & amateur monk._

"I will cure it!" He said as he chanted a spell from the book. Tora's face was surrounded by white light…and when it was gone, Tora was back to normal… _except his hair had converted to grass now._

Takumi sighed as he clicked his fingers, curing Tora. Seeing that escape isn't possible at that moment, he turned to the queens.

"So…you three are the queens of this kingdom?" He sighed.

"Yes." Queen Arrowbee said as she narrowed her eyes and _inspected every portion of his body (hidden by clothes or not) with an eye of_ _detail_.

"We are the three queens!" Mikanlove exclaimed all-of-a-sudden.

"Isn't it pretty obvious from our names? "Takumisa rolled her eyes, "Kingdom Mirrowmisa, you know… _Mi_ **rrow** misa"

Tora felt like laughing at his fate. _Why was he here anyway?_ Oh, yes! Cause he wanted to marry the sexiest lady of the lands…who happened to be one of the princesses.

Takumi sighed again as he looked at all three _kid queens_. Their argument _seemed_ credible.

"Where is the king?" Takumi asked. If there is a king, the story might be credible. Also, _all three wanted to meet that king who would impregnate three…you know._

"Which king? "Mikan asked

"What is a king?" Takumisa exclaimed.

"I think I know what they're talking about" Queen Arrowbee said with deep thought.

Tora and Hinata's mouth was wide open while Takumi raised his eyebrows. The situation was getting _weirder_ every passing millisecond.

"Isn't it a male leader who leads the kingdoms and-"

"Yes!" Tora interrupted Queen Arrowbee, only to receive a _menacing glare_ …

"and _makes love with thousands of queens, make them his slaves and treats them like a toy?_ " She growled.

For Takumi, the definition of king was slightly… _off_ …but he couldn't argue with them.

(Because she was _politically correct…_ you know!)

"No good sir!" She then exclaimed, while Queen Mikanlove and Queen Takumisa nodded, "There is _no king here_. We are _female liberals_ , who built this kingdom with our _HARD WORK, DETERMINATION AND WILL POWER!_ " She said as the other two queens applauded.

"Great _one-shot_ _bae-bee!"_ Queen Mikanlove almost cried. " _Update soon!"_ She waved her hand.

"That's all right…"Hinata said, having some _uncomfortable question_ , "But..ummhh…"

"How did you three _have daughters if there is no king_." Takumi objected to Queen Arrowbee's story, "Did you make them also with your **'** _ **HARD WORK, DETERMINATION AND WILL POWER' "**_

" _SEXIST! VIKING!"_ Queen Arrowbee shouted while other two glared _menacingly_ at the princes, " _WHO SAID THAT GIRLS CANNOT MAKE CHILDREN WITHOUT MEN?"_

Tora looked at other two princes and signalled that it was not late _yet_ to run. Takumi sighed for the umpteeth time while Hinata took the front, asking questions.

"Then how…"

"They were adopted!" said the female guard, amyjane as she entered on hearing the commotion.

" _HUSH!_ " Queen Arrowbee exclaimed, "Use of such _atrocious, offensive words_ is _NOT_ allowed. AM I CLEAR?" She scolded amyjane, who fled the scene.

Seeing the princes' confused faces, Queen Arrowbee began her story.

"We still remember the dark day…" Queen Arrowbee said as the _Queen Mikanlove_ started _wailing and crying_ on remembering the scene. "There was a lot of _bloodshed_ that day…"

"What happened?" Hinata asked and Tora and Takumi lent them an ear…

* * *

 _Long…LONG ago (Actually, just last week), there was a peaceful, quiet kingdom Mirrowmisa. It had three most beautiful princesses of the world. The kingdom was built by-_

("Psst! Psst!" Queen Mikanlove elbowed Queen Arrowbee, "Skip the boring part!"

She nodded.)

 _Built by whatever it was. One day a witch attacked the kingdom, with her evil intent of illegally transporting and detaining the three princess in her tower._

 _(Disclaimer: This by no means tries to say that all, or even some of the witches indulge in illegal activities like human trafficking. Any resemblance to any such incidence is purely co-incidental)_

("Ya-Ya!" Queen Takumisa said," Skip the disclaimer too!")

 _Long story short, the witch was standing in front of castle gate, with the queens and soldiers at other end of gate with their swords and weapons in their hands._

" _We will NEVER let you take our princesses!" Queen Takumisa shouted_

("Psst! Psst!" Takumisa interrupted, "Make it more heroic!")

" _We will_ _ **NEVER**_ _let you take our princesses!" Queen Takumisa_ _ **roared fiercely**_ **,** _the sound-waves of her speech causing an intense hurricane which uprooted trees, her voice breaking window-panes and the wind_ _ **blowing of every piece of clothing the witch had.**_

(The three princes sweat-dropped. _That was a "bit" too much of an exaggeration…)_

 _The witch was now standing in a bikini, flaunting her "assets", making the females uncomfortable._

" _You people won't be able to stop me," She smirked as a violet coloured orb formed in her hands._

 _When the colour faded, all the females gasped at what they saw. The witch was now holding_ _ **fresh, new, sexy, perverted oneshots of their favourite anime…**_

" _I know you want these" She said as she flaunted the adult covers of those published oneshots._

 _It was becoming difficult for them to be resolute now…_

" _WE WONT EVER GIVE IN TO YOUR TRICKS!" Queen Arrowbee shouted, boasting the morale of her army._

" _Yes!"_

" _We will defend the princesses!"_

" _Long live the queen!"_

 _The witch smirked as she then waved the books, flaunting them._

" _Here! Here!" She waved the oneshots, noting the eyes following them. And then she threw them in a corner-_

" _LUSTFUL LOVE!"_

" _TWISTED ROMANCE!"_

" _MAKING LOVE!"_

 _She threw the oneshots in every direction, and smirked as she saw all the females except-the-three-queens squealing, screaming, fangirling and running towards the oneshots._

" _MINE!"_

" _NO MINE!"_

" _ONLY I DESERVE TO READ IT!"_

 _The three queens watched in horror as their female army started fighting among themselves or the lemon oneshots. Those who_ _ **did**_ _got those, instantly fell unconscious due to nose-bleeding on excessive smut and intense scenes. Queen Mikanlove's legs trembled._

" _And for you, queenie," the witch said pointing fingers at Mikanlove, "I have_ _ **this**_ _"_

 _Queen Mikanlove's eyes went wide as she saw the cover of on-going adult scene._

" _PURE. DELICIOUS. SMUT." The witch sensually added, "Imagine if the girl and the boy are locked in a room, and the boy is lustful after her, and the girl agrees to-"_

 _Mikanlove fell unconscious due to nosebleed._

" _MIKANLOVE!" Queen Arrowbee and Takumisa rushed to her. However, they were met with a similar fate as the witch started to chant the summary of her next smutty oneshot…in great detail._

 _The witch proudly watched the outcome._

 _BLOOD!_

 _BLOOD EVERYWHERE!_

 _It was a BLOODY fight!_

 _She took a deep breath, it looked nothing less than all the girls getting mass-periods at the same time. The witch triumphantly entered the castle and approached the three princesses._

" _You three are coming with me." She ordered._

 _Misaki raised an eyebrow at that._

" _Why should we?" She asked._

 _The witch flailed her one-shots and threw them in front of the princesses, and stood there smirking as the three confused princesses opened and read them._

" _Jeez! You call it a smut?" Misaki shouted, "It looks like a 8 year old desperately writing a sex scene…"_

" _The last time I checked," Chiyo remarked," that the male organ wasn't_ _ **this**_ _long."_

 _(PS: We are out of sources as such how or where Chiyo "checked" this "last time".)_

" _Boys don't have a_ _ **V,**_ _" Suzuna spat, "WTF?! Why is the female lead having a_ _ **D**_ _inside her_ _ **V**_ _in this one shot?"_

 _The witch sweated and gave a hesitant, nervous laugh under the glare of three_ _ **experienced**_ _princesses' criticism._

" _Just…what kind of stuff do you watch?" they glared at the witch_

" _How about I make an offer?" The witch nervously laughed, avoiding the question._

" _We're listening" Misaki said narrowing her eyes._

" _Free_ _ **black, lacy bras**_ _and_ _ **panties which never get stained**_ _to those who agree to go with me!"_

" _You have got yourself a deal." The princesses smirked._

* * *

Queen Arrowbee took another sniff while the three princes felt that their brain shut down on hearing such a story. Queen Mikanlove started crying and wailing hysterically.

"Honestly, I think it was a good deal," Queen Takumisa casually said, "The eroticas I got are _unmatchable…_ " She grinned, " _I never knew that boys had a V…"_

The princes felt _highly uncomfortable_ due to that mistaken belief, and _even more uncomfortable_ on thinking how or when will she face the _reality_.

"Really? Can I borrow it?" Queen Mikanlove lit up in a moment.

The princes felt that the stupidity will kill them.

Hinata felt the impact the most. His holy book, which was never wrong, clearly mentioned the princesses being kidnapped, and also that the queens were _wise, mature and…_ but main point was that it says that the princesses were kidnapped.

"How are they kidnappe-"

" **HUSH!"** Queen Arrowbee boomed, silencing Hinata, "They were _illegally transported and are kept detained in a tower!"_

"Sorry, not interested." Takumi and Tora got up and started to drag Hinata out.

" _Oh! You might be!"_ Queen Mikanlove smirked with a perverted aura, " _When you know that the reward is_ _ **marriage**_ **."**

Needless to say, the three princes went on their way without delay.

"Arrowbee…" Queen Takumisa suddenly said, "Did you tell them about the teleportation portal behind the castle…the one which would _instantly_ transport them to where the princesses are being kept?"

" _Ooops"_ Queen Arrowbee bit her tongue.

* * *

"And, now we're _almost_ there." Hinata said as he glanced over the map in his holy book of legends. They had been walking for hundreds of kilo meters, through dark, dense forests, huge mountains and also crossing one ocean.

"And now we have to… _climb stairs…_ " Hinata said.

"Which stairs?" Tora asked, only to get his shirt tugged by a gaping Takumi. He saw him pointing towards a _weird staircase in near distance which was reaching_ _ **beyond the clouds**_.

"Awh Man!" He complained, "I hope the princesses are worth it!"

* * *

They crept, crawled and fell on the floor the moment they reached the top… _after climbing one million stairs_. Hinata was panting and lying on floor.

"Remember me guys! Don't forget me!" he dramatically said, "I think I will die if I walk anymore!"

"Shut up you gluttony head!" Tora shouted as he too, fell on ground, panting.

Even Takumi lay on the dirty ground, tempted by a moment of rest. The trio watched the scenery as they lay on ground. It was barren _desert like_ area, with a long tower in front of them. It was quite normal and serene… _except the bunch of human skeleton lying at the tower's footsteps._

"HEY GIRLS! The princes are here!" Chiyo shouted in tower, and in a moment, two more beautiful princesses came at the tower window.

"Hey guys! About time you came!" Misaki screamed.

"Come and save us before the witch arrives!" Suzuna cried.

Hinata stood up, and clearly showed _his open hand_ and said, " _Give us a break!"_

Instantaneously, he was met with a _head-on_ collision of a _black, high heeled,_ _ **metal**_ _boot_ on his head. Suzuna dusted her hands after the fierce throw.

"Jeez, your prince is so clumsy." Chiyo remarked.

"WHY IS HE **MY** PRINCE?"! Suzuna shouted.

"Because…"Misaki smirked, " _Boot_ of love now and _booty_ of love _later_."

Suzuna was left gaping.

"Umm…wake up Hinata." Takumi tried to shake the unconscious Hinata who must-have-seen-stars-in-broad-daylight.

"Gosh! Where did we got ourselves caught into…" Tora muttered.

 _BING!_

Tora and Takumi looked towards the source of sudden beeping sound, and their eyes threatened to come out of the sockets as they saw _an elevator opening_.

A female witch wearing some-shade-of-purple-coloured dress came out of the lift and was going towards the tower when the three princes caught her eye.

"There…was…a…lift?" Takumi asked panting.

"How…What…Where?" Tora asked, his brain cells perishing on seeing the witch coming comfortably in a lift while they…

"Yeah…" The witch replied confused, "I made a lift for convenience. You just had to go a _little right_." She said, "It was _clearly_ visible I think…"

"It was…" Hinata said, waking up, "But the holy book of legends said that the princes should go up through the stair- **OW!** "

Takumi and Tora mercilessly kicked Hinata on his stomach.

"OW!" He screamed, "OW-OW-OW-OW" he kept on shouting as Takumi and Tora rained a barrage of kicks on him.

"You…and your holy book of legends!" Tora spat.

Takumi groaned and screamed in frustration as he pulled his hair.

"The princes are cartoons…" The three princesses remarked, sighing.

"Hmm…"The witch said as she looked at a small booklet, "You guys are a bit early. We're not ready yet."

Takumi and Tora watched her with a ' _dafaq'_ face.

"What do you mean by 'not ready' ?" Takumi asked.

"It means what it means." The witch shrugged and then she turned towards the tower and shouted, " _Kyra!"_

The tower doors burst open as a _melanin rich_ woman came running from the tower door, with a _weird box_ in her hand. The witch clapped her hands and instantly a chair appeared in front of her.

"Get me ready Kyra!" The witch said as she lay on chair and closed her eyes.

"Yes Mistress!" Kyra excitedly said as she opened the _make-up_ box and started applying the violet lipstick on her lips, the black mascara on her eyes and some powder on her cheeks.

"This violet lipstick would add a new shine to your dress!" She chirped. The witch's lips went up from frowning by a negligible angle.

"HEY! We are here to rescue the princesses and NOT to-"

Tora shut up when the witch grunted and showed him the hand. Seeing no other option, they decided to wait and have some _needed, tempting_ rest.

* * *

After around _five hours_ of _pure boredom_ , Takumi saw Kyra leaving the witch. The witch then rose high up in air, and gave a wicked laughter.

" _You fools! I now have recharged all my energy!"_ She smirked, as if all her energy was in her mascara and make-up.

"Alright! Lets come to battle!" Takumi said, lifting his sword. Tora and Hinata also unleashed their swords and came in front.

"We will save the princesses!" Tora screamed.

"They both stole my line!" Hinata cried out loudly, earning a punch from his friends.

"HaHa! It is so funny that you guys think you will be able to defeat me!" She sneered at them.

"Why have you detained the princesses!" Takumi shouted, "What have they done to you?"

The witch just smirked and gave him no reason. Meanwhile, her reason was getting fulfilled as she used her _X-Ray vision_ to _see through their clothes and perve on..._

" _ **HELLO?!"**_ Hinata shouted, breaking her concentration and her X-Ray vision spell.

The witch frowned, and shot him an intimidating look.

"If you want to save the princesses," she continued, "You must guess my name." She then shone in a brilliant violet light and was wearing a gown next second. The gown had a tag, _ **my-name-is-the-colour-of-my-dress**_ **.** Takumi found in _eerily_ similar to something in his memory…

"Each of you gets one try." The witch continued," If you're able to guess the colour, you may take your princesses. But _**if-**_ " she smirked, " **if** none of you is able to guess my name, I will _**detain all of you for all your life**_."

"Umm…my holy book of legends says that you kill those who are unable to answer." Hinata said, confused, "And those skeletons- "

"They are here just for decoration." The witch said, "You know, the _badass_ feel."

Hinata felt that there was _something wrong_ with the mental status of the witch. He decided its best to run.

"Ummh…I think I forgot something…" Hinata said as he took a few steps back before a violet lightning struck the path ahead.

"I forgot to tell," The witch shrugged, "You cannot run."

The three princes observed her in _great_ detail and finally Hinata said-

"Its Violet-"

He barely dodged the Violet fireball thrown towards him.

" **I ...AM...** **NOT** **.VIOLET!** " The witch, who seemed to have taken great offense, screamed.

"Its Purple!" Tora shouted.

The witch shook her head in dissatisfaction.

"There are many purples. **Which** purple is it?" She said, "Final try." She remarked on seeing Tora's confused face.

It was **all** on Takumi's shoulders now. He took a deep breath, and tried to remember. The witch _seemed_ to be familiar…as if he met her before.

 _But…Where?_

He wondered. And suddenly, in a flash, memories came. Memories of someone converting him into a wolf. He didn't know how, where, or why these memories came. Perhaps they were of some _previous experience? Previous Birth? (Previous Oneshot?)_

"Its **LIGHT PURPLE!"** Takumi smirked.

The witch also smirked, " _Its MAGENTA today, honey…"_ said the witch whose name was _**NOT**_ Violet, or Purple, or Light Purple, but **MAGENTA** (for today). She then formed a Violet orb in her hand, "Prepare to meet your fate!" She said as she shot a Violet orb towards him, which he barely dodged.

"ITS CHEATING!" Hinata shouted, "Your dress is CLEARLY VIOLET!"

The witch narrowed her eyes as she gave him a _deathly glare_.

"You know what?" She spat, "I will convert you into a mouse for _eternity!"_ She said as another Violet orb appeared in her hands. She then threw the high-speed orb towards him, but luckily, he ducked to save himself and dodge it. The orb went flying elsewhere.

"You know what?" Hinata spat, "I will _kill_ you." He growled.

He then opened his holy book of legends, and started chanting a magical hymn.

"I will now summon the _angel_ of God himself, to kill you!" He said as a red magical circle appeared beneath his feet, and suddenly the place was illuminated with white light.

"Now…" he said as he read the book further, " _We wait for her to arrive…"_ he blinked non-sensically.

They waited…waited…waited…waited even more…waited until they couldn't wait any further…and then…they waited a little more.

 _NOTHING HAPPENED…._

"Are you sure you chanted the incantations correctly?" Takumi asked.

"I…think so…" Hinata weakly replied.

" _OH-HO-HO-HO-HO_ " The witch laughed. "I am tired of games." She said as she formed Violet flames on her hands and was now chasing after a running Hinata, shooting flames in his path.

"Should we interfere…." Tora asked Takumi as he watched the witch and Hinata completely busy in themselves.

"…I think not." He replied.

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere _far, far away._

"Gaihlaaa." Vijju whined as they walked further, "I _am hungryyyyy_ "

They had been walking for _too_ long and he was _dead tired_ and _hungry_.

"Hey Hungry! I am Gaihla." She smirked at him.

"STOP WITH THESE MOTHER JOKES OF YOURS!" Vijju burst, "You are no mother, anyway."

"That's no way to talk to _Mother_ Nature _,_ " She whistled, making Vijju groan even more.

He then held her shoulder and shook her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and-

"OKAY STOP!" She shouted at him.

"I AMMM HUNGRRYYYYYYYY!" He whined.

"I think I can give you something," She then chanted some incantations and a white light formed in her hand, and there was an apple resting in her hand the moment after.

"Here, have an apple." She said.

He happily held the apple, eying it _hungrily_. He was _about_ to take a bite of the _most delicious apple ever…_

…but suddenly a Violet orb of light came out of nowhere, hit the apple and converted it into a mouse.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he shouted.

"What the…" Gaihla said, and froze as she saw a _very dark_ aura around Vijju.

"I will be back soon," He said as he turned around and began walking.

* * *

 **BACK TO MAIN STORY-**

Hinata screamed as he ran, being chased by the witch, whose name was **NOT** Violet, Purple or Light Purple, but **MAGENTA**.

"Help me guys!" He shouted at Takumi and Tora, who were comfortably _flirting_ with the princesses from beneath the tower.

"Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho" The witch laughed,d "There is _no_ escaping me!" she smirked.

"Umm, Excuse me?" A voice interrupted her.

"Do you know somebody _who throws Violet coloured orbs recklessly everywhere?_ " Vijju asked with an innocent smile.

"Umm…I think it was mine?" She stared at him

 _FIST-OF-FROZEN-MOUSE!_

Vijju uttered as he instantaneously froze the mouse in a chunk of ice and _shot at the witch at high speed._

 _FLAMING FIST OF BURNING MOUSE!_

The witch reacted quickly by making a hand of fire, tossing the mouse back at him. She _might have_ dodged the attack, but the 25kg make-up on her 30kg body didn't help – especially while levitating in air.

'What has gotten into you?!" She sneered at him

 _FIST OF FROZEN MOUSE!_

"How dare you spoil all my food!" He shouted

"So?" She asked.

 _FLAMING FIST OF BURNING MOUSE_

"I WAS HUNGRY!"

 _FIST OF FROZEN MOUSE_

She rolled her eyes.

"You cannot be that hungry anyway."

 _FLAMING FIST OF BURNING MOUSE_

"I WAS"

"WERE NOT!"

"I WAS!"

"WERE NOT!"

" **I WAS!"**

" **WERE NOT!"**

 _SQUEAK!_ The poor mouse squeaked as he found himself being tossed alternatively in fire and in ice between them both – like a tennis ball.

"Its funny how these three princes here don't have any problem if I turn them into mouse, "She grunted as she tossed the mouse back again, "But you're getting defensive cause I spoiled your food."

Vijju shot the princes a look.

"I think they _have_ problems with you turning them into mouse."

"THEY DON'T!"

"THEY DO!"

"THEY DON'T!"

"THEY DO!"

" **THEY DON'T!"**

" **THEY DO!"**

 _SQUEAK!_

"STOP THIS ANIMAL ABUSE! **NOW!"** Gaihla, who had appeared on the scene, shouted. She immediately made a fist out of ground and caught the poor mouse. She then released him safely on ground.

Vijju, however, was still glaring at the witch. The witch was _quite uncomfortable_ under the intense glare.

"I still have my trump card…" Vijju darkly muttered as he put his hand in his pocket.

 _BANANA OF DEATH!_

"Banana of WHAT?!" Everybody – including Gaihla and the witch shouted.

He, however, was unaffected by all this. _Darkly_ and _brutally_ did he peel the banana, making it naked. He then chomped it down in three turns, and threw the banana peel near the stairs.

"I am not hungry now." He laughed as he turned to Gaihla, making the witch almost fall in air.

"THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?!" The witch wailed. And just when she thought that all the stupidity was over, a _white_ light illuminated the place and it was filled with some music-

 _DIRTY ANGEL!_

 _IIIIIII AMMMMMMM ALLIIIIIIVEEEEEEE !_

 _IIIIII AMMMMMMMM ALIIIIVEEEEEEEE !_

 _~*BUM-TARA-DIDA-BUM-BUM*~_

 _DIRTY ANGEL!_

 _BUM-DADA-DIDA-BUM-BHUM_

 _DIRTY ANGEL!_

"I am BACK from Hiatus!" a female voice boomed.

Then another flash, and in front of them was an angel with small wings wearing a white dress and flying _lopsidedly_ because of _20 kg make-up on her 25kg body…_

"YES! YES! **YES**!" Hinata screamed, "The _white angel_ of God is FINALLY here!"

" **DARK WHITE ANGEL YOU BLIND BRAT!"** She shot down at him, "Look at the colour of my dress!" She sneered at him, "Its **dark** white and **NOT** white."

Takumi and Tora watched the new dramatic entry from afar, while Vijju heard Gaihla muttering, " _What a Racist angel…_ " under her breath.

Hinata, however confused he might be, decided to not to offend the angel any further.

"OH! GREAT ANGEL!" He bowed to his knees, "Forgive me! Please help us and save us from that witch!" He pointed towards the witch (whose name was **NOT** Violet, Purple or Light Purple, but **MAGENTA)**

"Why is she so late anyway," Tora and Takumi scoffed at the "angel". The said angel, turned to them, and said with an air of authority-

"I was on temporary hiatus due to my college exams on usage of dark arts and dark magic." She then again signalled on her dress, "As you can see my _dark white_ dress, I am simultaneously pursuing two degrees- One for Angel of Light and other For Angel of Dark."

Vijju noisily yawned at all that technical stuff, earning another glare from the angel.

The angel (whose name was **NOT** WhiteAngel, but **DARK** WhiteAngel) then directed her attention to the witch, and pointing to her said-

"You have troubled my people too much!" She then raised her hand in the sky, "By the power of the _dark light_ , I hereby send you to **long hiatus!** "

A _dark_ white light shone on witch's body and she fell on the ground…hard…on her two 'bums'. Her dress was now replaced with a black and white prisoner dress, with a tag reading-

" _On hiatus due to exams till December 2, 2199"_

The angel was just smirking to herself and waving her hair proudly in air when –

"And I send _you_ on Hiatus too, Angel," Gaihla boomed, "For being Racist, Colourist, and also for Illegal pursuing of incompatible degrees and courses."

Then a green light surrounded the angel, who fell on _soft body of the witch_ , from a _great_ height, in a prisoner's dress.

"Hmph!" They both looked at Gaihla and hmphed.

"Who needs you guys anyway." The witch snarled.

"We both are much better alone." The angel, who mysteriously became friends with the witch after falling 'face-in' on her b00bs, retorted.

The witch and angel then looked at each other and sniffed. They then held hands and with heads looking up to the sky, they said –

"ACROSS THE _LONESOME SEAS_ WE GO!" The angel remarked

"TO THE _TAINTED SNOWS_ WE GO!" The witch cried.

And they went towards the stairs hand-in-hand with heads held up high…

…and slipped on the _banana_ Vijju threw there earlier, and fell down the million stairs and died (…probably)

"TO THE _UNDERWORLD_ YOU GO!" Vijju shouted , " _My bananas have killed more than my scythe"_ He grinned.

Everyone else, including the princesses watched it with gaping mouth.

"DAFAQ?" Tora screamed.

"You know…" Takumi shrugged, "Something tells me that it isn't the last we will see of that witch and that angel…" He sighed.

(Let us take a moment to make a resolution of keeping our cities and surroundings clean! Who knows who the _Death God's banana_ claims next!)

(PS: The witch used in the oneshot is a metamorphical entity. **NO ACTUAL WITCHES WERE HARMED OR KILLED WHILE WRITING THIS ONESHOT.** )

(PPS: The Angel used in the oneshot is also a metamorphical entity. **NO ACTUAL ANGELS WERE HARMED OR KILLED WHILE WRITING THIS ONESHOT.** Please see disclaimer above. :-D)

 **BACK TO STORY-**

"What?" Vijju looked at him as he ate another banana, and threw the peel again.

"STOP LITTERING BANANA PEELS EVERYWHERE!" Gaihla shouted, "NOT ONLY IS THIS A MURDER OF NATURE, YOU'RE ALSO **KILLING PEOPLE!"**

Vijju looked towards her and raised his index finger.

"Firstly, the banana peels are _perfectly biodegradable_ and hence cause no harm to environment" he said, "And secondly, I _am God of Death._ " He said, "Where ever I go, I bring _cute, fluffy, sweet, innocent and rainbow-coloured_ death." He chirped.

"NONE OF YOUR ADJECTIVES MATCH!" Gaihla screamed at him.

"Hmph!" Vijju rolled his eyes, "I know…you just want my _banana_ , but I _won't give it to you, not now atleast…"_ He smirked.

It took five seconds for Gaihla to get the _double entrende_. But when she did, she immediately dashed towards Vijju screaming—

"VIJJU YOU…"

But Vijju quickly teleported behind her and grabbed her from behind-

"…Are the most innocent boy I ever met? "He whispered, "I know , teehee~"

"SHUT UP, IDIOT!" She shouted.

"Hey Gaihla!" Vijju suddenly said in a _sensual_ tone.

"Wh-What?" She nervously looked at him.

"I had a Banana…I had an apple." He looked at her in the eye, " _Bananaapple."_

Gaihla hissed at the _saddest, poorest joke her ears had to hear._

"This is a tower, this is a banana," He said, "Bananatower."

She felt her brain would burst out at that. "STOP!" She shoouted

" _I love to pay back in interest_." He said, referring to her torturing him by her PJs earlier.

Tora rolled his eyes and said to Takumi, "Lets go save the princesses. I heard the tower is full of _deadly traps_ and dangerous stuff." He seriously said. Takumi nodded as he looked the Vijju-Gaihla pair.

"They look cute together." Misaki said as she kept her hand on Takumi's shoulder – who immediately jumped like a wild cat in water.

"HOW DID YOU CAME DOWN THE TOWER?!" He asked, dumbfounded.

She casually pointed to the tower window…

…Where Chiyo was descending using a _parachute_ while Suzuna was coming down with a _jetpack_.

"How did _you_ come down?" Takumi asked.

"I used the in-built elevator." She shrugged it off. "We used to go to shopping malls daily with that. To buy those magical bras and panties, you know."

Takumi felt like a brick from air was had bonked him out of his senses.

The three princesses, who were _stunningly beautiful_ and who _immediately_ excited the lower regions of the three princes, were all in front of them, perfectly fit and fine.

"VICTORY!" Hinata shouted.

He was _just_ celebrating this victory when the tower door opened and an army of dark Violet, naked skeletons started running towards them with deadly swords and shields.

"Kill them!" The skeletons shouted.

However, it was at this moment that someone came for rescue-

"HIYAAAH!" Kyra said as she jumped in between, "Leave it to me!"

She kissed her hand and threw a flying kiss towards the army "OOMMHAA" She made a kissing face. Instantly, flying heart-shaped fire started coming out of her hands as she gave her flying kisses.

"KISSES AND DEATHS FROM KYRA~~~" She sang as she defeated the army in 30 seconds.

"Lmao…" Vijju chuckled at that.

"That's lady Kyra, fighting with some _spice and humour!"_ She winked towards everyone.

After few silent moments, they heard gasping and panting noise from behind. They went back to see local police and villagers standing behind.

"OH MY!" A lady exclaimed ," Are you the princes who killed the evil witch?"

Hinata then jumped forward before anyone could say a thing, and said –

"YES! YES! Its **ME** " He said, " **ONLY ME!** Others are here just for moral support" He boasted. Vijju just raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something, but then smirked and shut his lips tight.

"ARREST HIM OFFICERS!" The woman cried, "How dare they!" She then looked towards Hinata and said, "Although the witch was cruel and evil, _everyone has a right to live! How dare you kill,_ _ **murder**_ _somebody just because you don't like his/her ways?"_

"YES! YES!" The crowd cheered.

"Cruel men!" A woman wailed.

"BURN HIM ALIVE!"

"LETS HANG HIM!"

They started throwing tomatoes at his face while the police arrested him to produce him before court (whose judge was ironically Vijju himself.)

"Shit! I will have to go and get him bailed!" Suzuna said as she flew off with her jetpack.

"So..." Tora awkwardly said after five minutes of deathly silence," I think we should go?"

"From the stairs and that forest?!" Takumi exclaimed, "No way!"

"My heels won't be able to carry me that long" Chiyo objected.

"THEN WHAT TO DO?" Tora shouted.

Vijju, who was watching the drama with Gaihla, raised his hands and offered-

"There is a portal just behind the tower…which will lead you to the palace." He said, "That's where the _previous princes_ used to come…I don't know why you guys came from the forest and all that way." He then raised an eyebrow seeing their reactions.

"Didn't the Queens tell you?" Gaihla asked, "I made it on their request."

Takumi and Tora felt ground giving way under their feet at that.

 _Out of all the shit they could had forgotten…_ they wondered… _They_ _ **only**_ _forgot the_ _ **important stuff.**_

But gladly, it was coming to an end now.

* * *

Everyone, even Gaihla and Vijju, entered the empty throne room.

"Its empty…?" Misaki raised an eyebrow at that.

"HELLO?! Is anyone here?" shouted Hinata who was here after Suzuna bailed and bribed him out of jail.

"Who the _heck_ is shouting so early in morning…?" Queen Mikanlove said as she entered the room, yawning and stretching her hands.

"Mom!" Suzuna, Chiyo and Misaki shouted. Takumi, Tora and Hinata watched the _twenty-five-year- old "daughters" calling their 15- year- old "mom"._

 _Everyone there was weird as fuck…_

"Oh! OH!" Mikanlove exclaimed "QUEEN ARROWBEE! QUEEN TAKUMISA! "She shouted calling them

"Oh my child!" Queen Mikanlove ran towards Chiyo, "I missed you _soo_ much!" She said as she rubbed her face and buried it in Chiyo's _busty, fluffy, huge and soft breasts_ and rubbed her cheeks, enjoying the feels.

"Oh! My child Suzuna!" She said as she jumped and hugged her, rubbing her face on her _big, bouncy_ breasts and cupping and holding them as she hugged her from behind after hugging her from front.

"Oh! My child Misaki!" She exclaimed, but stopped in between as her eyes fell on her chest. She then turned and shrugged, saying "Welcome Back…"

Misaki swore she heard Takumi snicker at that. She gave everyone behind him a _dangerous_ glare meaning _laugh-and-I-will-kill-you_.

"What happened Queen Mikanlove?" shouted Queen Arrowbee as she ran into the room.

"Oh! Queen Arrowbee!" Queen Milkandlove exclaimed, "Good Morning!" She said as she jumped and hugged her too, rubbing her face in her comfy breasts.

"Oh! Oh! Now! Now!" Queen Arrowbee laughed, "Good Morning to you too!" She then looked in the hall.

"Oh! I see that the princes bought the princesses back." She exclaimed

"What happened?" Queen Takumisa asked as she came in the room.

"Queen Takumisa!" Queen Mikanlove exclaimed as she ran to hug her…but stopped on seeing her chest. "Good Morning." She sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh! Our kids are back!" Queen Takumisa exclaimed.

"Now we can _snuggle, cuddle and sleep_ with them like usual!" Queen Mikanlove and Queen Arrowbee exclaimed.

(The princes wanted to object that there was a _marriage reward_ and _they would like that only they are the ones who get to do that stuff with the princesses…_ )

"Honestly, its no difference for me!" Queen Takumisa said, " _Its always nice sleeping, cuddling, snuggling with Vijju."_ She grinned, " _Especially when he sleeps on top of me and…_ "

Everyone gave a disappointed, weird look to Vijju who raised his hand defensively.

"I ain't any pedophile…" he exclaimed.

Gaihla looked at Takumisa and Vijju with a murderous glare.

Amidst all the drama, Takumisa's cat entered and jumped on her lap.

"Oh! Here Vijju? You hungry?" She cooed to _the cat_.

"She…" Tora dumbly said.

"Named her cat Vijju…." Gaihla's turn to be dumbstruck

"Perverts…always harassing an _innocent cute (and sexy) boy!"_ Vijju said.

Arrowbee then clapped her hands, drawing attention.

"Now that the princes have saved the princesses, its time to give them their just reward."

 _Finally…_ every prince thought.

"So…" Queen Mikanlove said as she cat-walked to Takumi, "I would _marry you!"_

Everyone blinked and gaped at that with deathly silence. Takumi watched her with a poker face.

"Sorry kiddo, I ain't any pedophile either." He emotionlessly said.

"Besides, its _obvious_ that Takumi is mine!" Queen Takumisa exclaimed.

"NO, MINE!" Queen Arrowbee retorted.

"WAIT! WAIT!" Gaihla and Hinata shouted, "What the hell is happening?"

The three queens looked at them with confused face.

Hinata then looked at his holy-book-of-legends and exclaimed. "Weren't you supposed to reward us with marriag-"

"We said that the reward is _marriage_." Queen Arrowbee said, "We _didn't say marriage with princesses."_ She added.

"The reward was getting the chance to marry _innocent and sexy queens like us!"_ Queen Takumisa chirped.

"We are _so much better_ than those old auntie types daughters of ours." Queen Mikanlove said.

The princes and princesses and everyone else except the queens sweat dropped at that.

"Now Now No-" Arrowbee's speech was interrupted as she saw Takumi stretching his hands up out of boredom, their shirt _slightly lifting up_ and _revealing nicely craved abs and-_

Her face flushed. Every Queen's eyes were set on that sight. Queen Mikanlove started nosebleeding. She was so embarrassed looking at a _muscular abs and skin of a_ _man_ and wanted to look away but she didn't want to look away and wanted to perve further but at the same time she didn't want to - _HECK!_

 _That was her life. And also mentality of all the three queens._

At the same time, even Vijju stretched his hands, flexing his biceps while Tora's smirk was _quite seductive for the queens._ (Hinata, as usual, had _zero sex appeal_ and was promptly ignored.)

All three queens fainted out of nosebleed.

And without wasting any time, the three princes eloped with their princesses, _never to return to the kingdom again._

* * *

:PPP XD XP X-) Lmao :P

(PS: Only **ONE** more oneshot to go.)

This was **pseudo-game-breaking** one-shot. Its not a real one cause of small, brief length and hence, somewhat less hidden meanings. There are many, but not AS many as in a game-breaking one-shot. I can't post many questions for this one despite much more things and references….they are too many. XD

PPS: Carefully note the syntax and make yourself comfortable with it. This will also be the syntax of my last oneshot too.

* * *

 **QUESTIONS-**

 **Q1.** Give character sketch of Hinata. Also, tell how by his holy book of legends, the writer has given a very sharp, sarcastic attack to blind faith and orthodox ideals.

 **Q2.a)** **Explain the following-**

 **i)** "and _makes love with thousands of queens, make them his slaves and treats them like a toy?_ " She growled.

For Takumi, the definition of king was slightly… _off_ …but he couldn't argue with them.

(Because she was _politically correct…_ you know!)

 **ii)** "Oh! My child Suzuna!" She said as she jumped and hugged her, rubbing her face on her _big, bouncy_ breasts and cupping and holding them as she hugged her from behind after hugging her from front.

"Oh! My child Misaki!" She exclaimed, but stopped in between as her eyes fell on her chest. She then turned and shrugged, saying "Welcome Back…"

 **iii)** "Its **LIGHT PURPLE!"** Takumi smirked.

The witch also smirked, " _Its MAGENTA today, honey…"_ said the witch whose name was _**NOT**_ Violet, or Purple, or Light Purple, but **MAGENTA** (for today). She then formed a Violet orb in her hand, "Prepare to meet your fate!" She said as she shot a Violet orb towards him, which he barely dodged.

 **iv)** "ACROSS THE _LONESOME SEAS_ WE GO!" The angel remarked

"TO THE _TAINTED SNOWS_ WE GO!" The witch cried.

And they went towards the stairs hand-in-hand with heads held up high…

…and slipped on the _banana_ Vijju threw there earlier, and fell down the million stairs and died (…probably)

"TO THE _UNDERWORLD_ YOU GO!" Vijju shouted , " _My bananas have killed more than my scythe"_ He grinned.

Everyone else, including the princesses watched it with gaping mouth.

 **v)** The witch just smirked and gave him no reason. Meanwhile, her reason was getting fulfilled as she used her _X-Ray vision_ to _see through their clothes and perve on..._

 **Part b of Q2. –** Find five more lines, paragraphs, speeches etc. in which you saw/found a double meaning.

 **Q3.** "Sarcastic Comedy is the best way to make the reader laugh, and also force him wonder on the grave matter." With reference to this statement, tell what issues does the oneshot bring. List them as major, minor and also tell what did you learn from it.

 **Q4.** In formats and Standards required/specified, drop a PM giving a **detailed** review of oneshot. Your review **MUST** explicitly tell what things, parts you liked/disliked and why. Also tell any significant inner meaning you came across and appreciated.

 **Q5.** Correlate, Compare **AND** Contrast this oneshot with author's previous, " **Politically Correct Maid Sama Magical Oneshot"** and tell how they are similar and different. Which one is better in your opinion? Why?

 **Q6.** Comment on Title Aptness of this oneshot. Also draft a summary for this oneshot, briefly stating why your summary is more apt than what the author gave (I purposefully gave a unfitting summary, so you cant dodge it with "summary was already good enough").


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